The way we talk to ourselves in our business life is important. “I” is a powerful letter and word that can describe how we internalize problems, and people tend to use “I” more often when stressed or in a challenging situation. “I can’t handle this.” “I am confused and don’t know what I should do.” Speaking to ourselves this way fuels negativity, which makes tackling a difficult situation harder than it has to be. What’s the solution, you ask.

An easy trick is to speak to yourself positively in the 2nd person, or speak to yourself as you would your best friend.  “YOU can solve this problem.” “YOU got this,” “YOU’VE gotten out of worse situations before.” It also helps to think of how a sensible person would handle the situation “what would Joe do about this?”

Changing from “I” to “you” is a positive way to explore your issues and has a calming effect. Another tip is writing your thoughts and reading them to yourself. This also can make you feel more positive and calm. In a way, you become your own life coach. 

In addition to self-talk

In addition to our speech with clients or even our peers, what we’re “saying” through non-verbal cues can also be communicated. For instance, at some point you’ve detected that a person is lying — eyes are averted, nervousness and rambling, perhaps even sudden sweating. Although the lie is being verbalized, it’s the non-verbal behavior (body language) that indicates the speaker is lying.

Notice people’s faces in a meeting. You may detect happiness, boredom, confidence or nervousness just by looking at their faces. A distracted person will tend to look around and seem uncomfortable. An interested person sits on the edge of their seat and listens intently. Body language says what can’t be said verbally.

“We convince by our presence.”
— Walt Whitman

by Amy Baach, Baach Creative Services